I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
