After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
