uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
