Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
