every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
