oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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