you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Come share oat with me in your robe
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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