Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize
