I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
two words: eviction party
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
