my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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