I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
