Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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