I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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