Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
