My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
