Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
