And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
