the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
