I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
