we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
