It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
