We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
