Your tits are I can't wait for
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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