Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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