he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
