the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
