About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
