So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
