Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
