I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
