yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
