Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
