I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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