I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
