Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
