I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
