I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
should my penis look like a turkey
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
