well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
