i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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