just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
