Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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