so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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