So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
