I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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