could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
