Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They have beer where we have blood.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
