i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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