I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
