do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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