You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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