found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
