jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
